HELP

So Ernest and I have been back from our trip for a few days now, and - well, what happens in the Lake District stays in the Lake District.

I took him out for a bit of a walk today as we got fed up being cooped up, as we've been doing a lot lately, but he's been acting so erratically.

I mean, we had a brilliantly fantastic time, but he still refuses to pick me up at home or walk me all the way back - we somehow always meet at the local.

Which is fine, but weird.

Also I talked to Jack about Ernest being here, and I don't think I've ever seen him so agitated.

And I'm just not feeling well lately.

I'm 21 (more or less), finished my degree, and have been hanging around all summer making plans for what to do next, but summer's over now and I have nothing to show for it. I haven't even made bookings for that Grand Tour yet.

I haven't the faintest what I'll be doing next, and it scares me to death.

Everyone's got jobs and things they're doing - Jack works in the City doing something similar to what my Dad does, or whatever, and Ernest amuses himself however, and even Gwendolen seems to be doing something with her time.

Whatever it is that she does.

And here I am, stuck, not doing anything useful.

I want to do something.

I have to do something.

I'm supposed to be grown-up but I'm so not, and that's all right because what's the point of being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes, but mark the 'some', not 'all the times'.

Ugh.

And on top of everything Gwen is still hanging around.

Grrr. If only she'd get the hint and pack up and go back to London, where she belongs with the rest of the filth. I always come back from London sneezing icky stuff into my handkerchiefs, which seems the perfect place for her. What is she still doing here?

I think I'm having a quarter life crisis and I've got no idea what's going on and it's so unsettling...HELP.
Please.