Gwendolen

Hi! Gwendolen’s here!
By now Darjeeling Elephant Productions had the kindness to inform me that instead of my super informative and entertaining vlog about how to escape the countryside for a better shopping experience, Cecily Cardew had the audacity to take over my vlog and record something behind my back while I was gone.

Turn your back on country people for one second and then this happens, am I right?
Also, thanks there, you Frenchies at Darjeeling Elephant. You can’t see this but I am rolling my eyes at you.

Anyways, what Cecily can do, I can do better. Young one, if you think your little takeover will go without consequences, you haven’t known me for very long!
So, here I am writing a much better blog than she ever could. I mean, not that I've read any of the rest. Can’t really be bothered. But from her lacking eloquence in conversation I gather that this will most definitely be better.
I don’t know who the audience of this blog is but I guess it’s people similarly inclined as Cecily. My dear ones, let me educate you a little. Since it remained unscreened, here are my tips on how to survive the countryside:

1. You mustn't go out without your Hunter boots. I don’t think I've had a single chance to wear my properly nice shoes ever since I arrived, and I've been here for a while! They’d get all nasty immediately.
2. Hertfordshire doesn't have a lot of shopping opportunities but there’s a Spa I can recommend to everyone.
3. The cinema looks like it’s from the 20s, so that’s at least pretty – check it out.
4. Always take wipes, hand cream and insect spray with you. The country is so dirty!
5. Opportunities for partying are rather restricted. It ain't glamorous out here. But at least they filmed The World’s End at “The Colonnade”.
6. Spa. Definitely the spa.
7. Very appreciated hot spot: The train station. It takes you places. Other places.

Don’t get me wrong. The people here are an alright bunch living in their estate houses. It’s just that all these estate houses are in the middle of frigging nowhere.

How I’d wish for Ernest to finally arrive! You know, I think I could see the benefits of being in a secluded area and have a big house just to ourselves….
Well I've got a sweet little surprise for him and can’t wait to see his reaction.

Okay I’ll stop now before Cecily notices anything. As far as I understand she schedules her posts after she wrote them and they’re published automatically so surely she won’t even notice I've replaced her previous post. Ha ha at you, young Cecily. Never play a player!